What’s Coaching and how is it helpful?
I’m a professional coach and I mean that in two ways. First, I coach professionally. And second, I coach about professional issues. Like almost 100% (that’s not a scientific number but I still think it’s accurate!) of coaches, I didn’t begin as a coach and I didn’t set out to become one. Coaching is something that I came to later in my career. I bring my knowledge and expertise from my experience in academia, in business, and even in the arts to the conversations that I have with my clients.
I tend to specialize in coaching professional leaders, a.k.a: individuals who work in leadership positions. Not only has experience shown that that’s a category of people that I seem to be able to develop a productive rapport with, but I am endlessly fascinated with the work that they do and the challenges they face.
I love coaching because, to me, it doesn’t feel like work or a chore or a duty. I have found a way to put my natural curiosities to work for me. When I sit down with a client and ask that first question (it’s never the same, but it’s something along the lines of, “So, what’s going on?”), I feel a genuine sense of excitement, curiosity, and inspiration. I can’t wait to see what is going to happen and what the two of us are going to learn from our deep conversation. We are both going to leave that conversation transformed. That’s why I refer to the technique that I use as “transformative conversation.” Because that’s exactly what it is: a conversation that leaves both the client and myself deeply transformed.
I generally find myself liking, caring about, and endlessly interested in my clients. That’s how I know that I was meant to be doing this work.
What does a coach do?
I think it’s easier to answer that question by sharing what I DON’T do as a coach.
I don’t:
Give advice to my clients (“Here’s what I think you should do . . .”)
Mindlessly cheerlead for my clients (“You can do it! You’ve got this!”)
Those are two of the very few rules that I impose on myself and insist that I follow. Other than that, I tend to leave the conversation wide open!
So what is left that I DO do? Well, I make certain resources of mine available to my clients. I avail them of my:
Curiosity: I am always asking questions because not only do I want to understand them, but in answering my questions, they are invited to introspectively examine their own thinking
Observations: I share what I find myself noticing about the client and what they’re telling me. I point out contradictions that they have never noticed in themselves. Perhaps most importantly, I bring up the things that I notice are NOT included in what they’re telling me. By noticing and reflecting what they’re offering, I bring aspects of themselves to their attention that they never could have noticed on their own.
Analytical (thinking) processes: I dissect what a client tells me in many ways. I look for connections that they have not noticed. I also make discernments (telling the difference between thoughts that clients may be lumping together) so that we can consider aspects separately and thoughtfully. I tend to have a creative way of thinking about things and I make those thoughts available to my clients.
Guidance: I do not tell my clients what to do, but I do guide the conversation so that it stays in a productive and insightful flow. I like to think of the conversation as a ride in the car. We do not know where we may end up, but I will make it my job to make sure we stay on the road.
Each of these resources that I offer to my clients are valuable because they are coming from outside of themselves. My job is to get them to notice and examine their thinking so that new possibilities can become apparent.
One of the miraculous things about the transformative conversations that we have in coaching is that the outcome is always unknown. By sitting down together and having an open, honest, and pleasant conversation, driven entirely by care and curiosity, we invite insights and breakthrough moments that open up new possibilities and can bring about lasting change.
What makes coaching helpful?
As I’ve said before, coaching allows the client to take advantage of resources from outside themselves so that THEY can consider their situation, discover what is getting in their way, and create a path forward for themselves. Coaching is always about moving in a positive direction. Here are some of the challenges that clients have brought to me so that we can work together to “figure it out”:
Feelings of being “stuck”
Having to make a difficult or complex decision
Being unsure of how to deal with a tricky situation that has come up
Addressing a recurring pattern that limits success
Dealing with subjective feelings that get in the way, such as “impostor syndrome,” self-doubt, analysis paralysis, or others
Uncertainty as to the reason certain issues keep coming up
What’s my coaching philosophy?
I approach every conversation that I have with a client with my “Four C’s:”
Confidentiality
Care
Compassion
Curiosity
I understand that I am only valuable as a coach if the client can trust me enough to share with me the intricacies of difficult and delicate situations. That means that what we talk about always stays between us.
Also—and this is my favorite part of coaching and what I think makes its effects so miraculous!—I view my client as a complete, self-sufficient, and brilliant person. They have the answers that they need. I merely make my own resources available to them so they can get down to the source of the problem and invite the insights that translate into actionable steps forward.
I don’t offer the right answers. I merely ask the right questions and guide the process only as much as the client may need.
And because I believe that the client is capable of solving any of their problems and accomplishing any intention that they set, there is absolutely no need for me to judge their actions, their thoughts, or their feelings. I am deeply interested in my clients and their success, but I am not invested in judging, criticizing, or evaluating them in any way. To do so defeats my purpose, which is to place the client into alignment with their own power.
Whatever a client tells me is met with care and curiosity rather than criticism or comparison with anyone else.
By offering these techniques to my clients, and being guided by the principles and processes that I believe in, it is virtually impossible to leave a coaching session without feeling lifted, inspired, positively transformed, and with a focused direction in which to move.
Coaching is positive, productive, and propulsive. And most certainly, transformative!